I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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