You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
