the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
my liver is dry heaving
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
