oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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