even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize