I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize