dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize