We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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