Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Success! We fucked roommates!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
