I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
