Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
