so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
