I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
