New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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