I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
