I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
