don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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