I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
