Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ttyl tear gas
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
