so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she looked like the before picture.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
