Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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