Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
