You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize