Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize