You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
