Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Rumble strips road head = magical
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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