I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
