Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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