Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
