I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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