On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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