like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
