Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
