I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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