I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
