closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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