Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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