Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they're like a gay fantastic four
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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