he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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