careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
