guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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