Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
