I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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