She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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