we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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