Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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