Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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