i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
