My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
