Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
