its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
