I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
