omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
