The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize