So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
